Wednesday, February 5, 2014

11 Year Old Brony Attempted Suicide--We're Not Changing Fast Enough

As the mother of a boy who routinely wears pink pants, sparkly shirts, and sports a pair of cobalt blue gem earrings, the news that a bullied 11-year-old "Brony" boy attempted suicide hit home, and hit home hard. 11-year-old Michael is in intensive care after attempting to commit suicide. Our children are committing suicide because they're not "manly" enough. They're committing suicide because other children can't understand how they can like something outside the norm.

As a person who grew up amidst a drive for "diversity," it boggles my mind how anyone can have an issue with someone simply for being who they are, for liking what they like. Why are we forced to conform to THAT person's idea of what is right? Where is the pursuit for happiness in that?

A few days ago, a BlogHer blogger posted about her son wanting to wear a dress, and a bunch of anonymous posters started weighing in on it, with such stellar statements as, "boys don't wear dresses." Really? Tell that to every king who has worn a robe, or every Highlander who has worn a kilt. The traditional baptismal clothing for a male infant in the fifties was a dress. So why is the idea of a boy putting on a dress so threatening?

Because we have become a misogynist society, where anything that makes a boy more "girl-like" is wrong, where men who show their feminine sides (guess what, boys, you all have one, whether you can admit it or not) are suspect, and where liking anything that a girl might like (BTW, I grew up on GI Joe & Batman, so the idea that only girls should like My Little Pony is absurd) means you're gay.

We're Not Changing Fast Enough: When Will We Stop the Suicides?

Credit: mooshuu.

And while I'm on that, because in addition to my cross-dressing son I have a gay daughter, what the hell is wrong with being gay? You know what I see in a gay person? I see a person. I have to hope that society is changing -- my children attend schools where they can be who they are and be supported by teaching staff and friends -- but it's not changing fast enough. When little boys like Michael, who by all accounts are fully supported at home, are still attempting suicide, we just aren't changing fast enough.


Previously featured on BlogHer.

7 comments:

  1. Though we still hear about how oppressive it is to be a girl (and in many ways I guess it is) I think the broader scope is our society makes it oppressive to be human. There are ridiculous pressure put on both sexes. There is this fear that all of these things will emasculate boys/men and it's just ridiculous. I think the incredibly FEAR they live under though, just buries them... But while there is this tiny little "ok" standard for boys/men to conform to, dress/style wise, that is manly, girls can dress like girls, or dress like boys. Girls can dress in hardly anything, or wear tons of clothes and society will accept them. When it comes to how they dress, this is the one area that girls have the LEAST amount of oppression.
    It's ridiculous the pressures we, as a society, put on our children.

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    1. Rainydayinmay I see your point about the clothing. And even agree, to an extent--yes, it is one area where girls/women are far less ridiculed than boys or men. My point, I think, was that the underlying thought behind ridiculing boys for liking "girl things" began with the idea that female is "lesser." I agree that we put so much pressure on children, of both sexes. Thank you for your insight and input!

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  2. Fantastic job mom! Great share wonderful points indeed!!!! My daughter grew up with Legos, train and car sets, baseball and basketball right next to Bratz dolls and kitchen sets. Thanks for post!!

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  3. Yeah I hate to hear these types of stories. It's a shame things like this happens. There should be severe punishments for bullies. Schools should educate the children more on not just transsexuals, crossdressers, gays, etc. but also on acceptance for all! They need to teach that it's NOT ok to laugh and bully people they perceive to be different. It's too bad that too many people judge others from the outside before getting to know the inside because they just might be missing out on the best friend they ever had!

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    1. I think it's important to educate the children, and I think it's important to have programs in place that allow children who might not generally make friends easily to find other friends who have similar interests. I think that having teachers who actually take the time to get to know the children's personalities is essential, so that they can steer children who work well together in the right direction---though that can be difficult with the large class sizes. Thanks for your input!

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  4. Hi stuckathomemom! It's nice to meet you! You seem the a really nice person and wish there were more like you!

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