Sunday, October 6, 2013

Take that, Kryptonite.

      I hate change.  I know, I know, who doesn't hate change?  But I really really really hate change.  I have some control issues, so change is like my Kryptonite.  When too many things change, I feel like my entire world spirals out of control.  
     This month I have started a new part time job; my mother has begun watching Rose two days per week; and I have begun weaning Rose.  My head feels like it will explode!  I keep reaching out to grasp something to hold steady, but the bubble I have been living in tilts and I can't grab on.  The kids have taken it much better than I have.  
     That said...I will get my first paycheck in two years on Friday, and that's pretty ok.  Rose is beginning to warm up to my mother, and that's wonderful.  And I have had the occasion to wear something other than a tank top and ripped jeans, which is kind of liberating!
     I don't know how long I'll last in this job, but that's ok.  I don't know how long my Mom can handle my little flower child; and I just don't know if it is a good time to wean her.  But by making all these changes anyway, I feel like I'm de-sensitizing myself to them.  Take that, Kryptonite, take that.

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