Thursday, August 8, 2013

The Adventures of Punkgirl and Happyboy

      Punkgirl and Happyboy are twelve and ten, respectively.  Punkgirl is my Joplin-loving, record-listening, knee-high-sneaker-wearing writer.  She has super short hair and a super long memory, she is snarky and smart, and if I were a kid she would be my idol.  Happyboy is her younger brother, and he has idolized her since birth.  Over the years, he has developed his own personality, though, and now, instead of wearing cute things that his sister would wear, he wears cute things that he likes for himself.  These range from pretty butterfly cardigans to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle t-shirts, so needless to say his taste is unique.  The emergence of his own sense of style and his own sense of self has caused some troubles in our house, mostly because his older sister and he both have control issues (and gee, I have no idea where they got them from.  Ahem.)  There are times when I watch them, and everything jells, and they hit that groove.  In the groove, they are so creative and funny and loving together.  And then there are the normal days.
     On normal days, they correct one another constantly, tell each other what to do, and the word stop (which becomes stooo-ooop) is repeated more times than I can count.  There are times where I think they can't stand it when the other breathes, and it just kills me.  Having lost my youngest brother at the bright young age of 31, I feel every snipe and every sneer like a sharp knife in my heart.
     At the beginning of the summer, I started giving them "challenges" to get them to work together.  Eight out of ten times they got frustrated and angry because neither wanted to compromise on a project.  It became a struggle between them and I began to despair.  But eight out of ten became six out of ten.  By last week it became four out of ten.  They're finding the groove.  
     For my brother and me, it was comic books.  We could fight all day, but take us to the comic store and we were the best of friends, picking out the best issues that we both could agree on (for you fellow geeks, it was Avengers, Xmen, Thor, Iron Man...occasionally Batman, though I had my concerns with the slim coverage Batgirl was given in that comic...) For Punkgirl and Happyboy, it's creativity.  I give them the camera and a theme, and before I know it there are costumes and props and can they use this or that.  I tell them they need to make a comic book and they are on the computer, heads together, the argument they had ten minutes ago about Happyboy constantly singing instantly forgotten as they come up with graphics and snappy dialogue.  They hit the groove.  I don't have to worry then that they might grow up disliking each other...these moments are proof that their sibling love exists.  I cherish them, those moments, more than I could possibly say, and I miss that bond with my own brother keenly but bitter-sweetly.
      I suck at being a stay at home mom. But sometimes, even I get it right.  That's when we're in
the groove.

4 comments:

  1. My brother and I are two years apart and we were just like that... we fought like cats and dogs one minute, but other times we spent entire days playing together. We had what you might call a Love-Hate Relationship. When I was still young a social worker who was working with us (long story) described it as us being very close, because we had strong feelings toward each other all the time... we were either best friends, or wanting to kill each other... and her opinion was that was actually better and healthier than some sibling groups who are just apathetic to each other, don't really know each other or interact with each other much at all! So I guess you can be glad when your kids are fighting!?!?

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    1. LOL I love that. My brother and I were the same...and we were definitely better friends as adults, but it's harder to watch now than it was to experience it myself!

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  2. This giving them a project thing is brilliant! In my house Big Pants just forces Tiny Pants to play what he wants until Tiny Pants gets mad and goes on strike, at which time Big Pants goes and plays on his computer and Tiny Pants cries that no one will play with him. Now I need an idea or two to give them...they would dig on the camera thing. (mine are nearly 8 and 2.5 years)

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    1. I have done the digital camera and made them take pictures of scavenger hunt items (ie something pretty, something broken, something dark etc); I have made them re-enact plays; I have made them write a story together (I usually tell them the first or last line, or a theme)...where Tiny Pants is 2.5 he may get more out of something easier, like putting on an impromptu puppet show (again, I give them a theme.) It just keeps me (mostly) from ripping my hair out in the summertime!

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