My mother's house is like an oasis in the desert of breastfeeding-suitable venues. She has a long hallway, so if I'm trying to be discreet enough to not embarrass my brothers I can use the hall to walk back and forth in relative privacy. On my brother's birthday, I was just worn out enough from the emotional turmoil of missing him that I sat down in the empty dining room to feed Rose. I put a small receiving blanket over my breast and part of Rose's head, and by some great miracle she didn't throw it off in annoyance (as she usually does.) I was feeding her pleasantly, chatting with Coffeeguy (who had come in to keep me company), when my eldest brother's step-granddaughter toddled into the room. We'll call her Little Pip, and she's a cutie, about 2 or 3 years old, with giant brown eyes and curly hair.
Little Pip noticed the legs sticking out of the blanket, and conversation ensued...it went something like this:
LP: Where's the baby?
Me: Right here.
LP:....I want to hold her.
Me: She's eating right now.
LP: (Looking at the blanket, brow furrowed.). I wanna feed her.
Me: Uh, you can't feed her, because, uh, there's no bottle.
LP: (Furrowed brow remains, she looks around the table.) I don't see her bottle.
Me: I know, honey, there isn't a bottle.
LP: Well I want to feed her. Can I feed her?
Me: Um, you can't feed her honey, because there's no bottle.
LP: (Looking slightly annoyed) What she's eating?
LP: There's no bottle. Where's the milk?
Me: (to Coffeeguy) Help?
Coffeeguy: There's no bottle because the milk is in the boobie.
LP: (long stare)....Ok.
She toddles away. Coffeeguy waits a beat, then light dawns.
Coffeeguy: She's going to tell someone "the man said boobie to me", isn't she?
Coffeeguy. "The man said boobie to me, and the lady showed me."
I think I'll stick to breastfeeding at home again.